Powerful Words
By
Wendy Caulley
Did you know that words have power? Proverbs 18:21, says, "the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” A simpler way to say this is, “what you say is what you get.”
Let’s put it in a different way. If you continually confess that you can’t do anything in the morning without a cup of coffee. What are you like during a day you don’t get your coffee that morning? You probably are miserable. I used to say, “I don’t do mornings.” I had a t-shirt and mug to prove it. Guess how hard it was for me to be active and effective in the morning.
So, if this concept is true, how does it relate to our families and lives? It depends on what words are active and alive in your home. All of us need compliments and encouragement. If a child constantly hears, “you are stupid, you can’t do anything right, you are lazy” they tend to believe it and act on it.
If wives continually hear, “your cooking is no good, you can’t keep a clean house, you are too lenient with the kids, you over spend the money”, it can lead to discouragement.
And what about Dad who faithfully goes to work each day, mows the yard, takes out the trash and no one ever says thanks? Dads need encouragement too. We all need to be affirmed and encouraged.
Now, I am not saying that we are not to teach and train our children. But there is a difference between addressing the behavior and attacking the child. If a child does something wrong we can address the behavior without attacking them. The difference could be, if a child leaves clothes all over their bedroom, you can say something like, ”honey, it is important to put you clothes in the hamper so I can wash them and you will have clean clothes to wear.” It is important not to attack their personhood by saying something like, “you never obey and you are just plain lazy and rebellious.”
Remember the old saying, “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Think about it. Can names hurt us? Absolutely. Negative names and words can go down deep in our spirits and a person can remember them for years , So if we are going to use names, use positive ones like smart, hardworking, diligent, dependable, kind, faithful, honest, loyal, good student, and other words that speak encouragement to the hearer. I have a slogan that will help. It says, “BRAG, DON’T NAG.”
If you want to make a game out of speaking kind words, give each member of your family, who is old enough to participate, a small container. Get a roll of nickels and each time a positive word is spoken, they get to put a nickel in their container. At the end of a week or two weeks, they get to spend their money. (This can be modified to fit your family’s needs).
We live in such a critical, negative world. Kindness and consideration are a lost art. We can make a change if we are willing to try. All of us appreciate sincere compliments and encouragement. It helps override the times we just out and out blow it. It helps our self esteem. Remember your heavenly father loves and accepts you just the way you are, warts and all. So we should love and accept each other. Proverb 12:18 says, “there are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Let’s make sure our words are encouraging and healing.
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