FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
By
Wendy Caulley
There are many sources available to help us understand other people and what makes them tick. The more we understand a person the easier it is to have a relationship.
There is a book called “The Five Love Languages” which helped me to understand myself and those I love. Once I understood the concepts they added revelation to my life. The book defines five different ways that we show and receive love. The different love languages are:
Words of affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation are words of encouragement, compliments and other positive words that affirm the hearer’s self esteem especially our spouse and children. These words create intimacy and foster healing.
Quality Time is spending quality time together with our spouse and children. It includes time of sharing, listening and participating in great experiences that foster closeness and build good memories.
Receiving Gifts is another love language. Gifts are symbols of love. They can be purchased or home made. Some people love to receive gifts whether large or small. It speaks love to the receiver.
Acts of Service is doing things for the people you love. It can be as simple as taking the garbage out, emptying the dishwasher, or changing the baby’s diaper without grumbling and complaining and with an attitude of love and sacrifice.
The last love language is Physical Touch. Some people thrive on touch. It can be in the form of holding hands, rubbing the back, hugging, or a kiss.
This concept has helped my marriage. Before I read this book, I was so frustrated because my husband would show his love by a hug and a kiss followed with the words, “I love you”. Being ungrateful I would say, “Don’t tell me, but show me”. Have you figured out our love languages? My love language is acts of service and of course my husband’s is touch. It made an impact on our lives when we understood our love languages and could start demonstrating our love to each other according to each other’s needs.
I was in another state with my grandchildren for a period of time. Coming home on the plane I had the opportunity to reflect on the children and their love languages and it was obvious what each child’s love language was. Unfortunately, I had missed the boat while I was with them, but I have used this concept since to help demonstrate love to them and fill their love needs. At the time the children were preschoolers, but after taking time to reflect it was easy to identify their love language.
Now it is important to understand some qualifiers about this concept. It is not fool proof and there is no one love language that is better than another. We each have different temperaments and personalities and we have different love languages. The purpose is to help us understand and love our spouses, children and the people around us.
If you want to show love and affirmation to the people you love, identify their love language and make a point to fill their “love tank” by demonstrating love and meeting their love needs and desires. For more in-depth understanding of love languages read the book.
Chapman,
| Name | Size | Type | Last Modified |
| TFAM article - Having an Intentional Marriage | 35.6 KB | File | 3/12/2009 12:57:34 PM |
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