SINGLENESS
by
Tara Wentworth
Someone asked me the other day whether or not I still considered or desired to be married. I have been single all of my life but had a few opportunities over the years to tie the knot! My reply was that I am far too busy and set in my ways! But, truthfully, I desired to be obedient to God’s leading in every area of my life.
I grew up in a home where my dad worked so much, he had little to do with the daily goings on, until my mom decided to go back to school and get her education degree. During that time he and I pretty much ran the household. Even though we went to church regularly, God was not a major source of influence in our home. I don’t remember feeling strongly one way or the other concerning the desire for marriage. I was busy with school, sports, activities and taking care of our home.
All that changed when I went off to college. I dated many young men, several of whom proposed to me. But, I really wanted to finish school and felt like that marriage would be a distraction. Also, I was unwilling and scared to make that kind of commitment. I did not want to take the risk of a divorce.
After college my life became quite an adventure. I went to Bible School, was in full time ministry, owned my own business for 20 years, and did missions work in Belize. Life was very full and I had by that time seen several close family members go through divorces. So being married was not something I was looking forward to or pursuing. I actually asked the Lord about it and felt like I heard Him say: “Today I have called you to be single. There is grace upon your life to walk in singleness.” He did not say – you will never marry but impressed upon me that I should take each day and live life to the fullest, that His grace was sufficient for each day. If He brought someone into my life, He would let me know.
If I could be an encouragement to those who are single, whether by choice or circumstances, it would be to share several factors that have helped me. Most importantly is having an intimate relationship with God. Isaiah 54:5 speaks of God, our Maker, being our husband. Other scriptures call Jesus our Bridegroom. When your relationship with God is close and intimate, loneliness and lack of purpose need not be major issues. Another scripture, Psalm 68:6, “He sets the solitary in families” speaks to me of the importance of having close Christian family. Those people I can go to for fellowship and companionship as well as Godly counsel. Even when there is no natural family to turn to, the Lord and His family can meet many needs and fill those empty places.
The apostle Paul, himself a single man, addresses the issue of singleness in several places. He talks about the ability to serve God without any hindrances as a single person. A married person is obligated to build the family relationship and fulfill the responsibilities that go with marriage. (I Cor.7:32) He talks about singleness being a “gift” from God – not for all but for some. (I Cor.7:7)
Being a Godly, single person in today’s world of loose morals, abstract values, poor role models, is difficult, but with work and commitment ,certainly obtainable and even desirable. I have made some wrong choices and mistakes in my life. I am very thankful for a forgiving God who heals broken hearts and lives. He has brought me to a place of great contentment and fulfillment in my life.
Whether singleness is a season of life or a long term commitment, with God’s help and grace, it can be a life of great fulfillment and purpose.
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